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Category: Life

Family Conversations About Money

Money can be a blessing and a challenge, and families of all shapes and sizes deal with this aspect of life. Some families handle this area more successfully than others, but as a parent, being able to have conversations about finances gives you the opportunity to impact your children, regardless of their age, in significant ways.

In general, discussing money can be one of the most challenging conversations, and the thought of talking about this with your children only adds to the problem. Even if you feel comfortable discussing hard topics with your family, knowing this topic can be daunting.

Whether you have regular discussions with your teenager about how much money they would like to have for their weekend activities, or you are talking with your adult children about dealing with college debt or a mortgage, these interactions can be prickly or even explosive.

Nevertheless, engaging in conversations about money is crucial for your family’s well-being and your children’s financial success. While there may be short-term challenges, applying some basic principles and helping your family put them into practice is a worthwhile endeavor.

Outlined below is a framework that addresses your Position, Principles to employ, and Practices you can utilize when your children live at home.

When they live at home 

Position: Teacher

When your children are at home, your primary role is to teach them wise financial principles, how they can put those into practice, and what are the lessons they can learn from their successes and failures. It’s important to note that teaching is not synonymous with telling. Great teachers ask good questions, because it helps the student (in this case your children) learn to think for themselves and apply what they learn.

Any conversation that is a dialogue, as opposed to a classroom lecture, is usually more enjoyable and effective. While it will take some extra preparation to devise a few good questions, planning with your spouse or seeking advice from those further along the journey can be beneficial.

Here are a few resources:

Regarding money

https://capitaloneshopping.com/blog/teaching-kids-about-money-9848d817c7fb

Asking open-ended questions

https://www.strong4life.com/en/parenting/communication/conversation-starters-for-kids-and-teens?s_kwcid=AL!15640!3!666932766224!b!!g!!conversation%20questions%20for%20kids

Principle:

Begin with the basics and start early as that’s when children are most impressionable and learn quickly. Make discussions about money a normal topic and try to craft a creative or fun exercise to teach them wise financial practices.

Addressing financial priorities involves allocating money based on what’s most important. In theory, this sounds obvious, but in actuality, many Americans can be short-sighted in their financial decisions. Even for parents who are strategic in handling money, it’s essential to impart wise principles to their children, because children don’t always see or understand what their parents do with their finances.

A helpful framework at any stage is:

Give | Invest/Save | Spend

Give

Even if giving isn’t a normal routine for you, it’s helpful for children to learn the value of helping others. In addition, it’s good for them; the physical and mental health benefits associated with giving (or serving) are well-documented. (Benefits of Giving: Cleveland Clinic article)

Some benefits include:

  • Boosting self-esteem
  • Elevating happiness and combating feelings of depression
  • Lowering your stress: by reducing your levels of cortisol, the stress hormone that can make you feel overwhelmed or anxious
  • Lowering blood pressure
  • A longer lifespan: studies show that people who volunteer tend to live longer than those who don’t.

Possible discussion with your child: “What would you like to give to? How can we give or serve together as a family on a Saturday morning or afternoon? “

Invest/Save 

Teach the Power of Compound Interest:

One of the most important and motivating concepts in investing is compound interest. It’s a fun lesson to teach your child, and you might enjoy learning more on this topic as well. Below are a few websites that can help. While you may need to adjust them for your child’s age, consider creating a trivia game or using coins or candy for a fun and engaging way for them to learn.

https://wealth.visualcapitalist.com/visualizing-power-compound-interest/

https://www.ramseysolutions.com/financial-literacy/teaching-compound-interest

Possible discussion for this topic: Ask your child what is a more expensive item they want and how much money they will need to save to be able to buy it. Having a separate “Save” category, distinct from “Invest,” allows them to set short-term goals as they save for something they really want.

Spend

Help Your Children Develop a Spending Plan:

For younger children, this is simply a fun discussion about what they would like to buy and how can they divide their money so they can buy several of those items.

When your children are older, and they start to ask for money to go to the movies or for gas, use this as an object lesson. Instead of giving them money when they ask for it, sit down with them a tell them how much you plan to allocate each month.

Then help them develop a plan for how much they need to set aside for gas or going out to eat with friends on the weekend or other events.

Help them realize there is flexibility with this plan. If they drove more than they normally do over a few weeks, remind them they can reallocate funds from their movie/events fund to cover gas expenses. Or maybe they can share rides with a friend and use the money they saved to go to a sporting event or a concert. (Without using the word, you’ve actually taught them how to make a budget, plus a spending plan sounds more fun anyway.)

Practice

Establish Ground Rules:

Consider giving them an allowance that’s tied to their chores. This teaches them the value of contributing to the household while also managing their finances effectively.

Guide them in dividing their money into categories to meet future needs. A suggested allocation template is 10% for Giving, 10% for Investing, 10% for Saving, and 70% for Spending.

For younger children, make their allowance a fun activity. Discuss their plans for giving or saving and after allocating the first 30%, they can choose how to use the remaining 70%.  A fun activity to accompany this is to ask them if they want to take some money from their spend category and go buy something fun as an afternoon outing.

“Seeing is believing”: If they can see their money growing it’s tangible and more motivating. For the younger children, a helpful idea is to give them a piggy bank that’s clear and also has 4 compartments (readily available online). As they see their money grow, it reinforces the importance of saving. This also allows you to be creative, as you can add money to their invest and save categories to reinforce the previous lesson of their money earning interest.

As they enter the Tween or Teenager stage, continue their allowance. Their needs will increase but so does their ability to contribute to the household. Help them apply these principles on a larger scale by opening a checking or investment account with them. As you give them their weekly or monthly allowance, assist them in planning so they have what they need at a later date.

As they grow older, teaching opportunities transition from primarily instructing to asking questions that prompt them to reflect on their decisions and consider alternatives for improvement. While setting ground rules at home can be challenging, it provides an opportunity to witness their development and prepare them well for the next phase.

While these are some beginning steps to take, throughout this process you are helping your children learn to handle money wisely. You are also building a solid foundation of having meaningful discussions on the topic of money.

To learn more about CapSouth Wealth Management and our services, visit our website  or call 800.929.1001.

Article by:  Clay Cook, Associate Advisor

CapSouth Partners, Inc, dba CapSouth Wealth Management, is an independent registered Investment Advisory firm. Information provided by sources deemed to be reliable. CapSouth does not guarantee the accuracy or completeness of the information. CapSouth does not offer tax, accounting or legal advice. Consult your tax or legal advisors for all issues that may have tax or legal consequences. This information has been prepared solely for informational purposes, is general in nature and is not intended as specific advice. This article contains external links to third party content (content hosted on sites unaffiliated with CapSouth). CapSouth makes no representations whatsoever regarding any third party content/sites that may be accessible directly or indirectly from this article. Linking to these third party sites in no way implies an endorsement or affiliation of any kind between CapSouth and any third party, including legal authorization to use any trademark, trade name, logo, or copyrighted materials belonging to either entity.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beyond Resolutions: 10 Core Truths for the New Year

In 2019, I grew disillusioned with New Year’s resolutions. I can be somewhat of a perfectionist, and if things didn’t get off to a great start, I found myself floundering.  I tended to have an “all or nothing” mentality.  If it couldn’t be perfect, was it even worth still pursuing? At the time, I didn’t think it was.  I had been setting resolutions for years and then throwing in the towel quickly once the new year started.  This also didn’t sit well with me as I had been taught early on to be tenacious and not give up easily. While I don’t remember all the details of 2019, I remember the frustration. I remember thinking that there had to be a better way to set goals and to dream big.  I needed a different approach.  Thankfully, I was listening to a podcast when they were raving about a product called PowerSheets® Goal Planner from a company called Cultivate What Matters.  I was immediately enthralled as they talked about starting small, making progress, and that small steps matter.  Not only did it seem doable, but it was a refreshing way to think about how to achieve the things that were important to me. Ironically, my first year of PowerSheets® was 2020. You can imagine how that year went! While the year and the goals went off the rails quickly, the 90-day refresh gave me a new opportunity to revisit what was important to me within the year.  Admittedly, I didn’t complete the full year, but I fell in love with the process and have been doing them every year since.

One of the best parts of using the PowerSheets® Goal Planner is that each month has its own recap space for you to jot down various things such as what’s working and what’s not. It also has space for things you are grateful for as well as your favorite memories. Then as you finish the year, you do a full year in a review and reflect on these topics. I love using the week between Christmas and New Year’s to reflect and do all the prep work. I find this week to be weirdly quiet and reflective.  I lose track of the days, and anything feels acceptable.  It’s an oddly productive week even if what I’m doing seems absurd and unnecessary (think organizing spices in alphabetical order).

This year, the week between Christmas and New Year’s took on a whole new vibe. We were coming fresh off a remodel (I’m talking furniture being delivered the Thursday before Christmas fresh here).  It was a level of calm I desperately needed after a wild finish to 2023. I couldn’t wait to grab my 2024 PowerSheets® (not sponsored by them I promise) so that I could dive in to reflecting and cultivating a new year.  Reflecting on 2023 brought some big emotions, and I was grateful for the space to process them.  In many ways it was a wonderful year! We took some great trips with friends, spent time with family, survived a remodel and perhaps some of the coolest news – we’re going to be first time grandparents!  Yet at the same time, the year was incredibly tough.  A dear friend was losing their battle with cancer. I received a new health diagnosis which meant having to prioritize my health like never before. It was a beautiful and messy year which is a perfect reflection of what life really is.

After reflecting and wrapping up my 2023 PowerSheet® Goal Planner work, I was ready to dive in to 2024.  It’s a fresh start. A time to dream big or think small. There is no right or wrong. 2024 will bring some amazing things – a new granddaughter, an amazing family river cruise, milestone birthdays for family and friends, and more.  Despite all these amazing things, I was still carrying this sense of dread, and I didn’t know why. My first moment of delight came as I discovered the new prep pages that the Cultivate What Matters team had created for this year’s PowerSheets®.  They switch it up every year, and this year had some of the classic work I love and some new fun touches.  Each year offers inspiring words and wisdom, and this year was no different. I found myself being drawn to the “Core Truths” highlighted throughout the prep pages.  Little by little, I felt the joy creeping in and the inspiration pouring out.  Each core truth hit home and had me considering 2024 in a new way. They were so inspiring I wanted to share them with you as well. No matter the season you find yourself in this year, these 10 core truths may help you cultivate new dreams or tend to existing ones in new ways.

Core Truth #1: Naming What Matters Changes Everything

Naming what matters helps us gain clarity. Life is demanding. So much is demanding our attention or at least vying for it. We’re bombarded with emails, texts and social media posts every day.  It’s easy to lose sight of what’s most important to us, even when it’s right in front of our face. It’s why we love having clients tell us their goals – their needs, wants and wishes.  It’s what matters to you, and our job is to collaborate on a plan to get you there. What is important to you this year? What do you believe will be important to you in 5 years? 10 years? Sometimes we get so caught up planning for the future that we forget what’s important to us right now.  Finding balance is important. One of the most powerful exercises I’ve done is to think about the end of my life. What would have really mattered? It’s not going to be the time I spend on social media or how much I worried.  It won’t be how much money I made either.  What would really matter to me at the end of my life would be how I treated people, the time I spent with loved ones, the friendships I made and the experiences I had. What will matter to you?

Core Truth #2: Reflection Reaps Rewards

It’s easy to get lost when we only focus on where we want to go. There is a time and a place to leave the past behind, but there is also a time and place to reflect.  Looking back and reflecting helps us to remember what is and isn’t working for us in this season.  It also gives us an opportunity to truly see the progress that was made along the way. What were the good things you experienced in 2023? What do you want more of in 2024? What lessons were learned that we can carry with us? This is your life, and it isn’t pass or fail.  This is the reason we adjust your financial plan on a regular basis.

Core Truth #3: Goals Grow When We Pursue Progress, Not Perfection

Take it from me and leave trying to be perfect behind.  Perfect isn’t realistic.  Perfection seems more fleeting the tighter we hold onto it.  Progress is refreshing and rewarding. Taking an inventory of our goals and how we’re doing gives us a great starting point for how to move forward in the new year.  You can segment your life in a variety of ways and do a life inventory as well.  How is your health? How is your family? What is your work life like these days? How are your daily finances going? If you had to rate yourself in these areas, how would you be doing? Are there areas that need more attention than others? Last year was a great year for me in several areas of my life.  I’m carrying that into 2024, which gives me the capacity to focus on other areas that need more tending such as my health.  

Core Truth #4: Change is Possible

Mindset is everything.  Have you ever thought that a goal or a dream was impossible? Have you been disappointed time and time again, so you gave up? I have. It was easier to give up than to be disappointed again.  Believing again meant a change in my mindset.  I had to be honest with myself about what was holding me back.  Sometimes I was my own worst enemy and holding myself back.  Imposter Syndrome can creep in. We can believe that we aren’t enough. Adopting a growth mindset can remind us of who we really are and inspire us to get going again. Are there things you continue to do because you feel they are expected of you? Is there a change you are dreaming of making this year? Let’s talk about it and make a plan this year to do something different.

Core Truth #5: Little By Little Adds Up

This is my life motto right now! I have a rigorous physical therapy regiment ahead of me this year to get back to doing the things I love. When I think about what’s ahead of me it’s easy to get overwhelmed.  Thankfully, I have an amazing care team that reminds me to take things one day at a time.  I have two choices, go slow and small or not go at all. This is a major departure from the “go big or go home” mantra that I can tend to adopt. When I look back at the end of 2024, I want to be proud of all the baby steps I took towards the bigger goal.  Have you ever felt the same? It’s okay to take some time to celebrate all the little things you are doing – in fact we encourage it! Celebrate the contributions you are making to your retirement plan each pay period. Celebrate your savings account for your big dream growing.  Celebrate the steps you have taken to leaving a legacy. Remember that it was the slow and steady tortoise that won the race, not the fast and impatient hare.

Core Truth #6: Legacies Start with One Small Seed

Everything and everyone started somewhere. Getting started can be the hardest part. Making a list of steps can be incredibly helpful. It can provide clarity on the best place to start. We often talk about legacy at CapSouth, and it’s so much more than a financial legacy. What traditions do you want your family to continue? How do you want to be remembered? It can be multifaceted just like you. For me, one key area that stood out last year is how much I love mentoring and paving the way for the next generation of Advisors at CapSouth.  I absolutely love the thought of a new generation of Advisors continuing the work that was begun over 20 years ago with an entire new generation of clients that includes children and grandchildren of current clients.  I can plant small seeds along the way to this bigger dream. Each small action will add up to a lasting legacy.  What is one small seed you can plant this year for your legacy journey?

Core Truth #7: To Everything There Is a Season

If I’m being honest, it already feels like 2024 has shot me out of a cannon! I was thinking I would have a leisurely start to the year, but that hasn’t been the case.  It would be easy for me to fall back into old patterns where I start trying to do everything at once if I hadn’t been so diligent about planning out my seasons this year.  I must be realistic about what I can accomplish on any given day. I’m not Super Woman even though some days I tried to act like I was! For now, let’s just focus on the first three months of the year. What’s important in this season? Is there one thing you could start, or is there one thing you need to continue this season? Are your goals realistic in this season? Do you have the resources (time, money, support) to achieve them or make progress?  These are the conversations where collaboration can be helpful. You don’t have to make all these decisions on your own, and we would love to be a part of the story.

Core Truth #8: We Can’t Do It All and Do It All Well, But We Can Choose to Cultivate What Matters

Let’s go back to that thought of being Super Woman. It took me a long time to realize I couldn’t try to do everything at once without something suffering.   These days I’ve learned to say no to some things so that I can say yes to the things that I’ve prioritized in this season.  I never thought of myself as a people pleaser but saying no didn’t come easy.  I worried about how the “no” would be received.  Eventually, I had to accept that I just didn’t have the capacity to give everything my best all at once.  It didn’t mean I didn’t want to try. The more transparent I was with those in my life I had to say no to, the freer I felt to continue to say no.  Do you feel pulled in a million directions right now? Is there something you need to say no to so that you can prioritize something more important?  

Core Truth #9: Any Day Can Be a Fresh Start

There is nothing magical about January 1. Please read that again.  As a recovering perfectionist, I now relish that every day I wake up can be a fresh start. We don’t have to wait a full year to start again.  We can choose to start on a random Monday or the first day of the next month.  That’s the beautiful part – you get to choose your fresh start.  It’s easy to keep procrastinating and waiting for the perfect time. I’m not sure the perfect time exists. We don’t have to blow up our day, week, month, or year because of a bad moment.  

Core Truth #10: It’s Okay to Grow Slow

We live in a world full of instant gratification. Amazon can have groceries and many unnecessary but wanted items to my house in just hours now.  I can pay for something with a tap of a card or a click of my iPhone’s side button.  Going slow can feel painful and unfulfilling in this kind of world. It can make us feel that we’re not making progress which can lead to giving up or moving on from a goal we had.  We don’t have to always feel as if we are racing through life.  While you don’t need it from me, I’m giving you full permission to grow slow.  We can chart your progress each year and celebrate along the way.  If you are used to sprinting your way through life, you may even appreciate a change of pace.

By the time I finished my 2024 prep work and incorporating these ten core truths into my year, I had seven goals for the year that I will devote time to little by little each month (Feel free to email me at jfensley@capsouthpartners.com and I will happily share those with you if you are curious). For those of you that love choosing a “Word of the Year”, my word for this year is intentional.  It felt appropriate as each goal I chose will require me to be intentional (almost daily).  We at CapSouth have the amazing privilege of doing life with you because of a choice you made to put your trust in us.  We are all so much more than the money in our Charles Schwab accounts, and it is my sincere hope for all of us that 2024 is a year where we can soak in these 10 core truths to remember to enjoy this beautiful and messy journey we’re on. 

To learn more about CapSouth and how we help, visit our website at https://capsouthwm.com/what-we-do/

CapSouth Partners, Inc, dba CapSouth Wealth Management, is an independent registered Investment Advisory firm. CapSouth does not offer tax, accounting or legal advice. Consult your tax or legal advisors for all issues that may have tax or legal consequences. This information has been prepared solely for informational purposes, is general in nature and is not intended as specific advice. This article contains external links to third party content (content hosted on sites unaffiliated with CapSouth). CapSouth makes no representations whatsoever regarding any third party content/sites that may be accessible directly or indirectly from this article. Linking to these third party sites in no way implies an endorsement or affiliation of any kind between CapSouth and any third party, including legal authorization to use any trademark, trade name, logo, or copyrighted materials belonging to a third party entity.

Sources: www.cultivatewhatmatters.com

Cultivate What Matters 2024 Powersheets® Goal Planner

Time is Everything

Given my profession, I’ve often wondered,” What are the most commonly used words or phrases in finance?”  What would you think?  Money, the stock market, Interest rates, rate of return, buy, sell, gains, losses? And depending on the day, some may not be suitable for mixed company, am I right? I don’t have an answer, really, and your guess is as good as mine. I would imagine time would have been one of those “also receiving votes” in the poll above, don’t you think?  The time value of money, for example. Or when’s the best time to buy or sell. The most popular use of that word, for me anyway, is when discussing timing the market vs. time in the market. It comes up quite frequently. So much so, I’ve recorded videos on the subject which have been shared with hundreds of investors. It’s that important. But this weekend, I witnessed two defining moments where time expanded the lives of some and tragically departed from others.

On a perfect Saturday afternoon in September, my wife and I traveled to a small, remote town in northwest Georgia to witness the wedding of one our best friend’s daughters. We’ll call this young bride, “Kaitlyn.”  And we’ll call her that because that’s her name.  She’s a brilliant, accomplished, and beautiful young lady who recently graduated from Auburn with honors – in three years – and all while working a full-time job. (I know, sickening.) And she’s marrying one of those “too-good-to-be-true” type of guys. His name is Garrett, of course. You know him, one of those handsome, chivalrous, strong, scraggily bearded leader-types who doesn’t need a set of pronouns to show he’s a man. (They still exist, folks.) Back to our friend. He adopted Kaitlyn many years ago and is as wonderful a father as the day is long. He’s also one of those too-good-to-be-true types – just with a little less hair and a little more weight. As the sun was setting across the hills of north Georgia, the tribute he offered to his daughter was one of those only a father of girls could deliver. A sweet glimpse of their relationship over the many years as father and daughter. He filled a paternal void in Kaitlyn’s life and became her protector, provider, care giver, and just what God knew she needed – a dad. A few memorable phrases used in his speech that evening:  There was the time, Do you remember that time, and I look forward to the time…

Fast forward 19 hours…

She was a beautiful, vibrant, young lady. A beloved daughter, sister, and cherished friend to many in the community. She was only 16 and tragically killed in an automobile accident earlier that week. And with no warning, she was gone. We attended her visitation on Sunday afternoon along with what must have been thousands of friends, family and acquaintances wanting to pay their respects. They waited for hours to love on her family and perhaps share stories of how she lived and loved so mightily.  The funeral home was adorned with hundreds of pictures of this sweet young girl surrounded by friends, families, and even one of her and her approaching homecoming date.  As we moved through the procession, I couldn’t help but think back to my friend’s speech just 19 hours earlier – There was the time, Do you remember that time, I look forward to the time.  And I imagined what questions were running through her dad’s mind at this moment. It was heartbreaking. If our world shares a common belief, it’s that parents shouldn’t have to bury their children. Children shouldn’t have to mourn their friends. And a sweet young lady shouldn’t have to lose her life. But as we’re all painfully aware, life doesn’t always work out that way. All of us will experience loss. It’s inevitable. And it’s a matter of time.

Forty-eight hours ago, this article was to have covered a vastly different topic.  But forty-eight hours ago, I hadn’t experienced a wedding and a wake. I am ill-equipped to even begin to capture the raw emotion of saying good-bye to a daughter until such time the Lord sees fit for a reunion. Each day, we witnessed two stories on this notion of time. Time spent, time hopefully to be shared again soon, and time to long for yet never get back. I’m apologetically incapable of expressing the weight that the word time carries for many families this evening. My prayer for all of us is that we’re blessed to make the most of what we have of it.

And God willing, maybe I’ll be able to write about that another time.

CapSouth Partners, Inc, dba CapSouth Wealth Management, is an independent registered Investment Advisory firm.

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